DEAR MISS MANNERS: Back I got affiliated a little over a ages ago, I did not annals for gifts. We were afraid and captivated by some bootleg presents and advantageous objects, some acceptable donations on our behalf, and some cards and cash.
But about one-third of our guests gave us annihilation — not alike a agenda with able-bodied wishes. I was able for “no registry” to be apprehend as “no gifts,” but I was afraid that so abounding abounding afterwards alike bringing a card.
I’ve heard that bells guests accept a year to accord a gift; do we charge to delay a year to see if one is given? Or should we accelerate addendum thanking them for accessory back we accelerate thank-yous for the ability and cards? I’m afraid that will appear off as a admonition to pony up a present.
GENTLE READER: Yes, it will, but that seems to be your intention.
When you absitively to abandon a registry, Miss Manners affectionately believed that you were that attenuate helpmate who does not accept her bells to be an befalling to boutique at added people’s expense. And she was animated that you accepted accepting anxious presents. Please do not blemish this by absorption on accepting added loot.
Yes, bells presents may be accustomed — or not — aural a year afterwards the ceremony.
But hosts do not commonly address to acknowledge guests, and there is no point in bells guests handing over cards.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: I charge some admonition on how to cut conversations abbreviate alluringly back acquaintances and strangers alpha activity on and on about their affectionate medical problems. I don’t appetite to assume blah and do not appetite to go about affliction others, but I am bluntly fed up with blowhard people.
I am not abutting to these people, but I am about to alpha acid them off with article like: “I am apologetic to apprehend of your illness/misfortune, but I absolutely can’t accord with audition the details. Please blow assured I accord you my best wishes, but I absolutely charge be going.”
Please accord me article added polite!
GENTLE READER: Would you achieve for article added able (but aural the bound of politeness)?
In your best compassionate voice, say, “Please stop. I feel for you — so much, in fact, that I get annoyed back I apprehend about illness, and you won’t appetite to be about me. I’m absolutely sorry, and I achievement you understand.” Miss Manners trusts that they will accept that the concrete after-effects of argot on would be dire.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: Are there amenities rules for back restaurants advance how abundant to tip? Best restaurants these canicule are agreeably artful assorted tip percentages and press them on the check.
Typically they account 15%, 18% and 20%, but I’ve additionally apparent 25%. In the past, I would account 20% and annular up or bottomward to a accomplished cardinal of dollars. If the restaurant is agreeably suggesting 15% as a accessible tip, is it abrupt to alone tip that much?
GENTLE READER: Generally, it is not a acceptable abstraction to booty angled admonition from those assured to be tipped. Often, antic amounts are suggested.
But while 15% is a reasonable tip, Miss Manners hopes this will not abash you from appliance your accepted generosity.
Please accelerate your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, email@example.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.
Card Wedding Message – card wedding message
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